Tone Revisions Assignment: 50 Points
The following exercise gives you an opportunity to practice revising a document to reduce its negative tone and make it more reader-friendly in the way it approaches a problem.
Revise the document below>
You have just come back from a rather contentious meeting during which Joe Smith has suggested your clerks are really messing up on the job. You have to write a memo to him suggested things you can do to alleviate any problems
To: Joe Smith
From: PUT YOUR NAME HERE
Date: 1 March 2004
Subject: â€œMistakesâ€ in Computer Files
I have been reviewing the â€œerrorsâ€ in the computer files that you talked about during todayâ€™s meeting. At that time, you insinuated that theses errors were made by the employees in my department. I have discovered that the errors are more the fault of your people than mine.
You suggested that I ask my clerks to review the documents by hand or switch off and review each otherâ€™s work. Due to the importance of their work, my people do not have the extra time to spend on such â€œendeavors,â€ nor am I willing to hire additional clerks to accomplish what I deem an unnecessary task.
I recommend that you ask your people to be more diligent before they send the files on to my people. Perhaps if THEY switched off and reviewed each otherâ€™s work the REAL problem would be eliminated.
Layout/page Design Assignment: 50 Points
These page shows a very poorly formatted memo. Please revise it to ensure that it is:
- â€¢ more reader-friendly in layout/page design,
- â€¢ more reader-friendly in terms of things like lists, and
- â€¢ More grammatically/mechanically correct.
Once you have completed the revision, email it to me as an attachment:
TO: Dan Simmons, department Chair
FROM: April Anderson
Date: 12 July 2003
On July 10, the members of the Literature and Cultural Studies Committee met to determine our five initiatives for the upcoming school year. The purpose of this memo is to identify those initiatives for you, and give you some additional information about each of them.
Our first initiative for the 2003-2004 school year is to recruit more majors into this option of study. Thus far, we have a total of 400 majors, but only 40 are pursuing our option. One reason students give for not choosing the option is that it is too â€œold-fashioned.â€ We plan to change that opinion, beginning this fall. To that end, our second initiative involves a marketing campaign to include a revamped web site, brochures, and even mini-spots on campus radio. Our third initiative involves creating proposals for several new courses, including ones on such topics as Hallucinogenic Literature, Womenâ€™s Scientific Literature, and Space, Film, and Literature. Our fourth initiative is the creation of at least one new position in the option. We would like to be able to search for a faculty member who is able to teach in the areas of womenâ€™s, scientific, and nature literature. Finally, we would like to create a scholarship for students to be funded by current full professors in the department.
In order to allow our initiatives to run more smoothly, we have assigned certain committee members to four of them: Initiative 1: Dan Jenkins and Audrey Smith, Initiative 2: Sue Osborne, Kara Jenkins, and Molly Maguire, Initiative 3: Holly Golightly and Jane Eyre; Initiative 5: Dan Jenkins. The fourth goal will be worked on by all members of the committee.
If you have any questions, let me know.