In the attached file is my original paper and below is the critique I received. Can you just make the changes to the paper based on the suggestion from my teacher thanks. This is a really good star
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In the attached file is my original paper and below is the critique I received. Can you just make the changes to the paper based on the suggestion from my teacher thanks.
This is a really good start, and I think the way to improve is to be a little bit more clear and fluid as you summarize and analyze.
For instance, the second paragraph is a bit out of place. Why are you telling us about Hendrick? What’s the point?
The next topic sentence about the American sports culture is really good, but you don’t really say what that means. You just talk about the audience demographics. So that paragraph too could use some explanation for what you mean.
The social media paragraph gets better, because it gives the example of how people discuss the events. But at this point, discussing a huge sporting event on Twitter is pretty standard behavior for fans, and it doesn’t exactly support the assertion that NASCAR sponsors are “forward thinkers” on social media.
The same applies to the next two paragraphs. You need to further refine the point you’re making about NASCAR and how you will support it. You have a lot of great info here, but you want to tie it all together and unite it under a few strong ideas.
In the attached file is my original paper and below is the critique I received. Can you just make the changes to the paper based on the suggestion from my teacher thanks. This is a really good star
Marlon Smikle Business Analysis The business I am analyzing this week is the National Association for Stock Car Auto Racing, or NASCAR. It is a privately-owned American auto racing company based in Daytona Beach, Florida. Co-founded by former American race car driver Bill France Sr., NASCAR is best known for organizing stock-car racing events involving production-based cars. They sanction races held across the U.S., Canada, Japan, Mexico, and Australia. The company is valued at $140 million USD as of 2017. The Daytona 500 Cup is one of the world’s most valuable sporting event, with television viewership of 9.17 million in 2019, making it the most watched NASCAR event of the season. Other popular NASCAR Series include the Xfinity Series, the Gander RV & Outdoors Truck Series, Home Tracks, the Whelen Modified Tour, the Whelen All-American Series, and iRacing. Valued at over $300 million USD, Hendrick Motorsports (HMS) is currently the most valuable NASCAR racing team. HMS revenue amounted to approximately $180 million in 2017. NASCAR has grown to become part of the American sporting culture; NASCAR fans tend to be predominantly male and viewership is made of a predominantly white audience. In the 2016-2017 season, white viewers accounted for a 91% share of NASCAR’s total viewers in the U.S. NASCAR sponsors are forward thinkers, in today’s age of social media. During the Daytona 500 in the 2019 season, fans not only tuned into their televisions to watch the race, but they also discussed the events on social media. Sponsors tapped into that market engaging with fans on Twitter. Toyota was the most active sponsor during the event, with the company generating over 13.8 thousand posts and social interactions about the Daytona 500. Although according to the statistics, viewership is down by over 50% since it peaked in 2005. Most fans are consuming their sporting events differently nowadays, especially younger viewers. Most fans are consuming their favorite sport via a mobile device, not traditional television. That is an opportunity to focus in on gaining new viewers via a subscription service, like ESPN+. The lack of diversity in the sport is another opportunity to gain new fans, with targeted advertising on social media platforms like Twitter and Facebook. In fact, 61% of sports viewers follow sports accounts and 80% interact on social media. NASCAR drivers and teams combined to provide an additional $41 million in sponsorship value for their various partners over the course of the 2020 season in spite of the Covid-19 lockdowns. Americans spending $100 Billion across all sports, at events and on apparel, if we could have laser like focus on engagement in urban communities, I think those sponsorship numbers could double. References Gough, Christina. NASCAR – Statistics & Facts. Statista. 2019. https://www.statista.com.ezproxy.mcny.edu/topics/4491/nascar/ Admin, Rosy. 2017 https://rosystrategies.com/the-huge-statistics-of-sports-on-social-media/ Wolkin, Joseph. NASCAR Teams and Drivers Combine to Generate $41 Million In Sponsorship Value Through Digital Content. Forbes., 2020. https://www.forbes.com/sites/josephwolkin/2020/11/12/nascar-teams-and-drivers-combine-to-generate-41-million-in-sponsorship-value-through-digital-content/
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