peer edit drafts

Peer edit these two drafts below. To do that, use the peer review checklist for annotated bibliographies attached below.

1st draft: The research question I’m trying to answer is “Why do people use sex in advertisements and, if it does work, how does it work psychologically?

Tylee, John. “Does Sex Still Sell in Advertising?” Campaign, 6 Aug. 2010, p. 17. ABI/INFORM Trade & Industry; ELibrary, edmonds.idm.oclc.org/login?url=https://search-proquest-com.edmonds.idm.oclc.org/docview/748827848?accountid=1626.

The author of this campaign, John Tylee, works as an Associate Editor for the company Haymarket Publishings. Haymarket is a media group that owns a lot of brands such as MPR and Third Sector. The audience for this campaign appears to be people working in marketing. This campaign is good for my paper because Tylee states some of the ways marketing teams try to justify using sexual innuendos in their advertisements, which would fit into the first part of my research question.

Marczyk, Jesse. “Understanding Sex in Advertising.” Psychology Today, Sussex Publishers, 26 June 2017, www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/pop-psych/201706/understanding-sex-in-advertising.

Psychology Today, the website this article was posted on, is a public journal where psychologists write about topics that people prefer. Its articles are written by psychologists, but for the public, not other psychologists. It’s a great place for the general audience to get an idea of what’s being spoken about, but baby language to anyone more fluent in psychology. This article is useful for my research paper because it sums up the statistics from a recent meta-analysis by Wirtz, Sparks, & Zimbres of the reactions and differences of men and women to the sexual and non-sexual advertisements.

2nd draft: Otani, Kou. “Revived Power.” King Records, Victor Studio, 18 Oct. 2005.

Summary

This song plays when the audience climbs onto a colossus with the intent to slay it. It replaces what is normally a slower track that plays while they aren’t actively assaulting the colossus.

Analysis

This music is extremely loud and triumphant, immediately starting with heavy drums. The constant galloping pace of the music pushes the audience forwards, as if they’re making a push with all of their might towards victory. It really is the theme to conquering and falling a mighty foe.

Reflection

This music, while not serving much of a scholarly purpose on its own, is an amazing piece to listen to and begins to give a taste of the talent that composers for video games can have. However, what really brings that artistic ability into the spotlight is its pairing with the other tracks and how they work together to tell a story.

Otani, Kou. “Demise of the Ritual.” King Records, Victor Studio, 18 Oct. 2005.

Summary

This song plays during the fight with the final colossus in the game. Unlike the other tracks, this one isn’t replaced with “Revived Power” when the colossus is mounted.

Analysis

This track is easily one of the sadder ones in the game. Unlike “Revived Power,” it constantly sounds hollow and empty, with there being a very slow beat and areas where no music plays at all. The music itself is much more ominous as well, hammering in a message about the audience possibly not being the hero of this story. The slow pace from before also is much more contemplative, encouraging the audience to reflect on their actions and whether it was all worth it for them to achieve their ambitions.

Reflection

This track is one of the many that completes the story of Shadow of the Colossus. Once again only seeing use when paired with the others, the way it appears later on and asks the audience to consider their actions without a single work is an artistic masterstroke, and should serve as a reminder of the artistry behind telling a story this way as well as the composer’s personal talent.

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